Updated: Aug 19
How to Become a Mentally Fit Mama
Even though today I dare call myself "The Mentally Fit Mama" and teach mothers and children how to deal with life's challenges in positive ways no matter what, I was not always this empowered. I am that woman who has endured the pain and trauma of sexism, racism, acute depression, suicide ideation, loss and divorce. Maybe you have endured or are still enduring pain and trauma in your life and have felt stuck? If it is true for you, I just want you to know that I have felt stuck too!
Often times when we live with abuse, pain and trauma, we do not know how to get out of undesirable situations and relationships. Is this true for you? I am here to share that I managed to get out situations and relationships that grieved me. I have converted my pain and trauma into gifts and opportunities.
I managed to move from pain to power. I had to shift my perspective or mindset to change my life. I then turned my power, into purpose, which is; working with mothers to break cycles of abuse, trauma and violence so that they unleash their full potential personally, professionally and parentally.
I learnt that if I had prioritized my self care, known who I am in deep ways, loved and led myself, I might have made better decisions. I used these life lessons to create empowerment programs so that others do not have to travel the long, painful and winding journey to happiness and success -no matter what.
You might wonder what I mean by mental fitness? According to Shirzad Chamine of Positive Intelligence, "mental fitness is the ability to deal with life' s challenges with a positive as opposed to a negative mindset." I am living the life of becoming a mentally fit mama. I am now turning my purpose into profit and I know it will scale to prosperity. It is a life-long journey. I am not perfect yet I live a life of more ease and flow than ever before. I am a happy mother, grandmother, wife, sister, niece and aunt.
The common mistake we make that makes happiness a difficult objective to achieve is to dwell in negativity for way too long. Shirzad Chamine teaches, "Take your hand off the stove!" We give negative experiences and emotions so much time and spend so many years living in the past while our future awaits.
What I have found is that all our problems present opportunities for us to find solutions. Our assignment is to have the mindset to discern the treasure in our pain and trauma. I have also noticed that we find it challenging to unlearn belief systems that oppress us. Our minds are so set in what has always been the norm. So we come up with sexy excuses for keeping us stuck, sometimes to the point of going six feet down. Does this resonate with you? If so I want you to know that becoming mentally fit plays a key role in us shifting our mindsets and liberating ourselves!
Below are some few tips on how to become mentally fit. I combine my life lessons and what I have learnt from many ahead of me including Coach Shirzad, and hope the tips work for you.
Tip #1 - Prioritize Self Care
Set aside time for your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self care. Devise a realistic self care plan. Come up with an accountability system to make sure you implement your plan. When you take time to fill your cup, your will serve your family at your best version.
Tip #2 - Know Who You Are
Figure out what type of a person you are. Be curious and be open to explore. Know where you come from as much as you can. If there are gaps, as there will be for many of us, accept it and work with what you have. When I wrote about who I am in my second book Searching for Racial Equality, I shared that "who you truly are is what is in your heart". So know what is in your heart.
"Mental fitness is the ability to deal with life's challenges with a positive as opposed to a negative mindset" – Shirzad Chamine
Tip #3 - Learn to Catch Yourself
Pay attention to what you think and feel. Pause before you act. As Steven Covey says, "begin with the end in mind."
I used to be called firecracker or Mike Tyson. I was by no means big like iron Mike. I just had a big temper that matched his boxing skills, so I spoke with my hands a few times. It did not feel good to cause pain but I had no tools to regulate myself in my youth. Learning from how I felt in my mid twenties, I vowed to stop being led by anger. The person I wanted to be and my actions were not in alignment. We all know when we are not in alignment. We experience negative emotions, sadness, anxiety, stress etc.
As a parent I have a few episodes where I lost it. Do you also lose it with loved ones or with those that judge you? We are human. It happens but we cannot make it a habit.
I had to apologize to my children for the times I parented in anger and hurt their feelings.
As I mastered the praxis of transformation and iterated reflection and action I began to conquer myself. Today it takes a lot for me to dwell on anger. I feel it but I no longer give it time. I am catching myself. You can catch yourself too.
Tip #4 - Change Your Perspective
Think of the lessons that problems or misfortunes can teach us. Get into the habit of asking what the lessons are. You will notice a shift in energy when you move towards solutions rather than keeping your hand on the stove. Joe Dispenza says, "your body follows your mind". Have a positive mindset and have fun observing where your body will take you!
Tip #5 - Be in Radical Action
From my experience one action that results in change in all aspects of one's life is mental fitness training. Becoming mentally fit can save mothers from self-sabotaging attitudes, behaviours and practices that keep them stuck in undesirable situations. This is because they shift their mindsets or perspectives from negativity to positivity. They are solution-focused, they are not victims.
The mothers and young women that I have worked with and have been in radical action have experienced phenomenal changes. Mental fitness has empowered them personally, professionally and parentally. A director of an NGO has let go of control as a leader and fully trusts her team to lead in her absence. She makes more time for her self care. In her own words, "My purpose is now crystal clear". A Doctor of Philosophy and nun has transformed as a person and is influencing the church to embrace change. An administrator has healed intergenerational trauma in her family and has healthier relationships. She was awarded best Administrator nationally and says the Mentally Fit Mama coaching program played a part in her success. A young lady who was not able to eat food transformed within three weeks and her physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self care is now non-negotiable.
With Mothers United, mothers can learn self-mastery in a non judgmental safe space and experience lasting transformations. We all know that when we empower mothers, we empower the whole family, and community, and country. If we all unite, we can change the world. You can learn more about becoming a mentally fit mama by booking a coaching session here following this link: https://www.mothersunited.ca/booking-calendar/free-transformational-call?referral=service_list_widget
I captured the path we can all choose from pain right up to prosperity. We can step up but we have to shift our mindsets. If you would like to step up and enjoy inner peace, healthy relationships, success and happiness, dive into action straight away by Clicking Here: https://www.mothersunited.ca/the-mentally-fit-mama
I would love to hear from you in the comments section. I believe in the concept of teaching an learning not in experts. Together we can co-create.
I am your sister on CALL, ready to serve you.